The Problem with Competition

I am a fairly competitive person. In fact, I am so competitive that I have been known to incite family fights while playing board games at Christmastime. To me, if you are not playing to win there is no point in playing at all. A competitive attitude can be a good thing because it causes you to challenge yourself and it pushes you to do your best.

On the other hand, it is hard to be happy when you are ultra-competitive. If you lose at something, you are mad because you feel that you should always win. If you win, you are not happy because you only did what you expected yourself to do. In a sense, having to win all the time is a “no win situation”.

One other problem that competitive people have is that it is hard for them to be happy when other people succeed. Thinking in “me versus you” terms automatically causes us to believe that “success” comes in limited quantities. In other words, competition makes us see success like a pie: if you get more then I automatically get less.

But what if “success” is actually unlimited? What if your success has no negative effect on me at all? If that is true, then I can be happy for any good thing that happens to you.

This is the worldview that Paul urges the Roman church adopt when he tells them to, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another” (Romans 12:15-16). Their relationships were to be defined by things like compassion and empathy rather than competition. In fact, earlier in that same chapter, each person is told to use whatever gift they have been given so that they can help and bless one another (verses 1-8). Individual success was not the goal.

Happiness is found not when we acquire more stuff than the next person, but when we learn to rejoice in our own blessings and use them to help one another.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).

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