The
meeting had the potential to be a disaster!
The topics on the agenda were liable to cause heated discussion and several
board members had strong opinions about what ought to happen. I also knew that others had equally strong opposing
ideas. It was not going to be fun.
You
have probably been in a similar situation.
Whether in meetings, or in interpersonal relationships, we often have to
navigate the tension that comes when people do not see things eye to eye.
Churches
are not immune to disagreements. In
fact, one entire section of the book of Romans deals with a discussion that was
going on in the church at Rome. The interesting
part of that section is not issue that they were arguing about, or even the
conclusion that they reached. What I
like is the advice that Paul gave them.
He did not choose sides. He did
not tell one group that they were right and the other was wrong. Instead, he said, “Let us therefore make
every effort to do what leads to peace and to building one another up” (Romans
14:19).
Instead
of solving their disagreement, he gave them a different goal. He reminded them that they were not there to win
a fight, but to help one another. Notice,
too, that this verse says, “Make every effort” to be peaceful and to build up
the other person. These things are not
sideline goals. Rather, they were to
make sure that relationships were at least as important as pushing their
perspective.
In the
end, thanks to this reminder, my “disaster meeting” did not turn out to be a
disaster at all. In fact, it turned out
very well. We debated the ideas. We certainly disagreed about how to get to
where we wanted to go. Some were even
unhappy with the final decision.
However, because we reminded ourselves that our goal was to help one
another, we were able to disagree and still come out of the meeting as friends.
When we
start with the proper goals, our conflicts can end differently.
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