In many
parts of the world, arranged marriages are still very common. Obviously, making that type of relationship work
requires a very specific mindset. For
example, most North Americans believe that you meet someone, fall in love and
then make a commitment. Arranged
marriages ask you to make a commitment to someone and then learn to love him or
her.
Why am I telling you this? Well, I think that the church is an arranged
marriage.
Generally, you do not get to
choose the people in the church. Therefore,
to make that community into what God envisioned, we must choose to act in
certain ways towards one another.
That is Paul’s message when he
says, “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians
3:12). I like the word “clothed” in that
sentence. We are to put these attitudes
on and wear them in such a way that they are visible to everyone. When people look at us, they are supposed to see
acceptance and a desire to treat others as we would want to be treated.
“Bear with each other and forgive
one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord
forgave you” (verse 13). People are not
always going to see things the same way.
Others will not always do what you think they should do. Forgiveness will be necessary. When we are quick to apologize and let things
go, we build bridges that allow us to go on together.
“Over all these virtues put on
love, which binds them all together in perfect unity” (verse 14). The words “bound together” make me think of “Crazy
Glue”. Love sticks us together in a way
that cannot be torn apart.
Most people think that love is a
feeling, but this scripture states that love is a decision. Love grows when we act in certain ways toward
one another. Love is based on what I
give and not on what I receive.
Better churches and better
friendships can be formed by simply choosing to love the people that God has given
us.
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