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Dealing with Anger Issues

                I have a bad temper.  Generally speaking, it takes a lot to make me mad, but when I am, watch out!   
As I think back on the times when I have really become upset, I realize that not once did my yelling make anyone stop and say, “Tim is making some really good points!”  It never made anyone like me better or respect me more, so why would I think that blowing my top is a good way to handle things?
                Well, honestly, fighting feels good!  There is an adrenaline rush that comes with putting people in their place.  In fact, in his book, “I’m Right and You’re an Idiot” James Hoggan states that, whether we make a connection with someone or pick a fight with them, the exact same happy endorphins are released into the brain.  Therefore, people can become addicted to drama and their lives feel boring if they are not embroiled in some on-going argument.
Contributing to this problem is the false notion that it is somehow noble and healthy to be honest and say how you feel regardless of how rude or hurtful it is to others.  Sadly, the fact is that venting our anger does not get rid of it, rather it causes more anger.  It is less like a kettle blowing off steam and more like pushing over the first domino in a long row.  Unchecked anger always causes more trouble.
                Some try to defend their bad behaviour by stating, “Jesus was angry at times, so I can be too” and I partially agree with them.  I hope that you get angry about the same things that make God angry.  The issue is not in being angry, but in how we deal with that anger.  Jesus did it perfectly and until you are able to apply your anger in exactly the right way, for exactly the right time, with exactly the right motives you had better be very careful.   
                What I have learned the hard way is that nothing is made better by yelling and screaming.   Working from a position of anger cannot change things in a positive way because, “Human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires” (James 1:20).
                Christians are supposed to be honest, but they are also supposed to, “Speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). 
                That is much more difficult.  It is also much better!

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