If I was not familiar with the word of God, I would be shocked by some of the events within it.
For example, in one
part, God
tells a man to take a wife, knowing that she would be unfaithful
to him. The man does so
and, predictably, she runs away
to live with another man. In
fact, she
not only does that, but then prostitutes herself to anyone who
will have
her. God then tells the
man to find his
wife and beg her to come back home.
Then,
adding insult to injury, before she can leave, he must also pay
for her
release.
Some
of
you recognize that this is the story of God’s prophet Hosea. He was told to do these
things so that his
life would be a parable to teach God’s people about their
spiritual unfaithfulness
and the extent of God’s love. While
that
is the main point, these scriptures also teach us some very
important truths
about forgiveness in general.
1.
We are never told that to
forgive, we must
forget. Hosea knows and
remembers
exactly what his wife did, yet he forgives her anyway. “Forgive and forget” does not
mean “Do not
remember”. In fact, I
would argue that
Biblical forgiveness requires us to remember.
If we could forget, what would there be to forgive? The power of forgiveness is
found in the fact
that, though we remember, we choose to let go of the hurt.
2. Forgiveness does not require
that others ask
for it. Did you notice
that though he
was the innocent party, it was Hosea who took the first step? There is no indication that
his wife asked
for, or even wanted forgiveness, but he offered it anyway. If difficult situations are
to be resolved,
or at least defused, someone must create a path to a better
future. Maybe that someone
needs to be you, even if
you did not cause the problem in the first place. If you are waiting for others
to ask for
forgiveness, you may be waiting a long, long time.
3. Forgiveness hinges on one
thing alone: That we have
been forgiven. This is the
point of Jesus’ parable of “The
Unmerciful Servant” (Matthew 18:21-35).
A man, who owes more money than the national debt, begs a
king for
mercy. The king decides to
be kind and
he cancels the man’s debt. Then
that man
goes out and finds someone who owes him a few months rent and
demands payment
in full. When the king
hears about
this, he calls the man in, reinstates his entire debt and has him
thrown in
jail. The point: Those who have been forgiven
had better be quick
to forgive others.
Having said all
that, I understand
that discussing forgiveness is easier than applying it. As C.S. Lewis said, “Everyone
says that
forgiveness is a good idea, until they have someone to forgive”. On the other hand, as hard as
it can be, forgiving
is good for us. Lewis
Smedes told the
truth when he said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and find
out that the
prisoner was you”.
So,
can
you forgive those who have hurt you?
Can
you let it go? Can you
drop the anger,
the grudges and the score keeping?
We must
not condone the wrong that others have done, but neither should we
allow those
things to continue to harm us.
We cannot change what has
happened, but, by forgiving, we can change how the story ends.
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