Skip to main content

The Value of Deep Relationships

                 In a recent TED talk, New York Times best-selling author Johann Hari makes the case that, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety.  The opposite of addiction is connection”. 
                While not denying the chemical and physical causes of addition, he states that, “Human beings have a natural and innate need to bond.  And when we are happy and healthy, we’ll bond and connect with each other.  But if you can’t do that – because you’re traumatized or isolated or beaten down by life – you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief.  Now that might be gambling, that might be pornography, that might be cocaine, that might be cannabis, but you will bond and connect with something because that is our nature, that’s what we want as human beings”.
                If that is true, then the church should be a powerful place for change and hope, because connection is at the heart of what we do.  We are to love and encourage one another (Romans 13:8; 2 Corinthians 13:11).  Kindness and compassion should be words that describe our fellowship (Ephesians 4:32).  Most importantly, we should be able to, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16).  
                However, in my experience, that does not always happen.  When was the last time you had anyone confess anything to you?  When was the last time you asked anyone to pray for you in a very specific way?   
                Often our relationships are too shallow, so we rarely get past taking about the weather or replying, “I am fine” when asked, “How are you?”   We like those we worship with, but we do not trust them enough to be honest.  They are close, but not close enough.
                What if we worked at changing that? 
                You could be a force for good in someone’s life.  You could encourage and build others up emotionally and spiritually (1 Thessalonians 5:11).  You could create relationships where it was safe to share your struggles knowing that others would love and pray for you.  To a lost and lonely world, a group of people who really love God and really care about one another might just be the most attractive thing they have ever seen.      
                However, that would take a new level of openness, effort and trust.
                Surface level connection will not do.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dark and Light

            When you look out at the world, what do you see?             Some see nothing but trouble and pain.   They point to things like poverty, crime, problems with drugs and alcohol and marriage break-ups and say that the world is full of sadness and sorrow.   Watch the news for even a half hour and you will get the idea that the world is a dark place.             Others see nothing but good.   They appreciate generous people in their community.   They think about their friends and neighbours and smile.   They marvel at the beauty of sunrises and stars at night.   To them, the world is a bright and wonderful place.             You may be surprised that the Bible supports both of these world views.   On one hand it says things like, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the
1 comment
Read more

New Article: Five Words to Improve Your Relationships

                 In the late 1800s, it was common for railway companies to plant formal gardens beside their stations.   These gardens were filled with trees, shrubs, flowers, and fruit trees.   Sometimes they also featured a kitchen garden growing lettuce, carrots, corn, and potatoes.   Estevan’s Canadian Pacific Railway Garden was once located where Mid-City Plumbing and Heating is today.                The purpose of these gardens was to show what the land could produce.   After hours and sometimes days of riding across the featureless prairies, the railways wanted to show settlers the potential of their new home.   The gardens showed what was possible and they encouraged the settlers to transform their own land and discover its potential too.                Today’s verse acts similarly, in that it challenges us to find the potential in
Post a Comment
Read more

Forgetting What Is Behind

                   Generalizations are helpful because they show a pattern that is normally true. However, they are also dangerous because they ignore the exceptions to the rule.                  Here is my generalization:   It is a quality of the strong to be able to forget the past and move on.   The apostle Paul summarizes this idea when he states, “One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God had called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14). Too often, we trip over things that are behind us.   We remember and nurse old hurts.   We rehearse mistakes that no one else recalls.   In doing so, we pull the past into the present and allow it to dictate how we feel right now.   In these cases, we would be better off “forgett
Post a Comment
Read more