Have you ever felt like you should do something, but you did not know where to start? Maybe you need to have a difficult conversation with a friend, but you cannot find the right words. Or you know someone who is struggling, but you cannot figure out how to help. You would like to patch up a disagreement, but do not know how to take the first step.
If so, I have a secret to tell you.
The starting point is always the same.
Paul demonstrates this starting point when he writes to the Philippians and says, “It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart… I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:7-8).
The first step is to get your heart involved.
When you begin by gathering your love for the person or the situation, then you can speak in ways that will be heard well. Focusing on love first will make sure that your desire to be right will not override the importance of maintaining and building the relationship. Love will give you a “depth of insight and knowledge” (verse 9) and will allow you to see things from the other person’s perspective. Love purifies our motives and helps ensure that we do not add to the problem. Love is always the starting point.
The only exception is if you find yourself in an abusive situation. Then, getting out and getting help needs to be your first move. Even that, though, is a move towards loving yourself.
Whenever I have forgotten to love first, I have only made bad situations worse.
Love is always the first step.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:16-17).
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