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New Article: Getting Past the Small Talk

 

                I heard an interview with comedian Jeff Foxworthy in which he said (and I am paraphrasing here), “I wish I had been a singer.  My singer friends can write three good songs and then get paid to sing them for the next 40 years.  People love hearing their old songs.  That is not true with comedians.  I can write the best joke ever and it has a lifespan of three months.  After that, no one laughs, and they never want to hear that joke again”.

               Why is that true?

               In part, it has to do with the fact that comedy relies on surprise.  We laugh because someone says something we did not expect.  Once we have heard the joke, the surprise element is eliminated and, therefore, it is not funny anymore.

                However, I think it also has to do with the content.  Most songs that become popular for long periods of time deal with deep thoughts and emotions.  Singers often sing about things like love, loss, hope, joy, and friendship.  By comparison, comedians deal with the trivial and insignificant.  Their observations do not have the same depth or perspective-altering power.  Their work does not last because it is not important enough to have a deep impact.

               This makes me think about the interactions that I have with people each day.  A lot of my time is spent in small talk.  Many of my conversations revolve around the weather, the Roughriders, motorcycles, or the news.  Often, when people leave my office, I do not know much more about them than when they came in.

               I understand that small talk is useful, but can we get to the deeper questions more quickly?  Can we ask, “How are you?” and really mean it?  Can we talk about subjects like family and faith instead of our latest purchases?  Can we focus on others instead of ourselves?  Can we skip some of the trivial stuff and connect on a deeper level?

               Words are powerful!  Sometimes, well-spoken words will be remembered for an entire lifetime.  Can we use our words well?

               “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:29).

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