Consider This: Comparing and Competing

“You must learn to enjoy life without needing an audience to see that you are enjoying life” – Unknown Source.

One of the lost arts is knowing who you are and how you are doing without outside approval. Of course, social media does not help this problem. It seems we cannot do anything without telling everyone how talented we are or showing how much fun we are having.

Honestly, I get it! Celebrating achievements with friends and family is important. We all want to be seen, and the desire for external validation is real. However, there is a thin line between healthy sharing and competition that makes each person better, to comparing ourselves with those around us in a way that undermines our relationships.

In 1 Corinthians 13, we find a list of what love does and does not do. Consider this part, “(Love) does not envy, it does not boast” (verse 4). Envy focuses my attention on what others have that I do not. Often, this produces feelings of shame and embarrassment. Boasting works the opposite way. It points out what I have that you lack, and makes me prideful. This sort of comparison never promotes anything good because it is not done in love. It always ends up with one person feeling bad about who they are and what they have accomplished.

In case we missed the point, the next verse gets to the root of the problem. “Love is not self-seeking” (verse 5). The main issue is that we are too wrapped up in ourselves. We are self-promoting and are not curious enough about others. Recently, I went for coffee with someone, and when I got home, Sara asked how it went. My response was, “Well, I know a lot more about them, but they know nothing more about me!”

What would happen if we stopped comparing and started caring? What if I made a point of building you up rather than building myself up? What if we learned to ask about the other person rather than talk about ourselves? What if our conversations were deeper than, “Guess what I just bought?”

Happiness begins the moment you value your own blessings and stop trying to convince others that you have a good life.

You do not need an audience.

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